Did you know...

Did you know that honey is now always just honey? I bought some honey a few weeks ago -- just grabbed some off the shelf at the grocery store. I kept thinking it tasted really bland, but my thought process didn't go beyond that. Well, last week, a friend of mine came over and I got out the honey bear for our tea and she looked at the ingredients and said that it had corn syrup in it! Corn syrup in honey??!! Since when do we have to read the ingredients on a jar of honey to make sure that the honey IS honey? Go figure! I suppose that maybe the "blend" on the honey jar might have tipped me off, but I just figured it was a blend of kinds of honey, not honey mixed with something else!

So yesterday, I found a nice guy who has his own hives and bottles and sells his own honey, and I bought a jar from him and mmmmmmmm it's so good! Can't believe the difference! Now that's real honey!

Excitement of the day...

I have recently decided that I want to learn how to spin my own yarn. I've been interested in getting an alpaca for a while, but the right opportunity has not, as yet, offered itself. So I've been patiently waiting and looking for the right one to come along.

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from someone who asked if I would be willing to haul a horse to the auction for them. I usually have a few ads here and there, offering my services doing any number of jobs. This particular woman was answering an ad that I had placed, offering my services in horse training. She said that her horse didn't like to load into the trailer, and she was wondering if I would be willing to come and get the horse in the trailer and haul her to the auction for them. She happened to mention that she raised milk goats. At the time, I was looking for some more goats, so I asked her if she had a doe that she would be willing to trade in exchange for hauling the horse. To my surprise, she offered to give me TWO bred does! Now that's an offer I couldn't turn down!

So the day of the auction came around, and I pulled up into the driveway where I was to pick up the horse. The husband went out to catch her, and she really wasn't too hot on having him catch her, so I went out to help, and she made the job easy by walking right up to me. He then led her up to the horse trailer, and she stopped quite a way back, and started snorting and pawing. He worked with her for a few minutes, and then I asked if I could work with her for a minute. Fortunately, she was a fairly easy case, as she walked right in after about five minutes.

After loading her up, I got to go pick out my does. I got to pick two out of four does, and the choice wasn't easy. They were all pretty good looking goats, so I just picked the two that looked the most pregnant. Neither of the two goats were tame, so getting them to the horse trailer was fun. We made them each a "collar and leash" from bailing twine that we tied around their necks, and then it was a matter of pushing and pulling and huffing and puffing until we finally managed to get the to and into the horse trailer. With that done, we took off for the auction.

By the time I got home that afternoon, I was more than ready to unload the does and take a break for a while. I started out trying to unload one doe, but she didn't want to leave her buddy. So I thought that maybe they'd walk better if they were together. It worked (sort of) for a little while... At least they came out of the horse trailer easier. But then Molly, my mom's Labrador Retriever, decided that she wanted to "help", and she kept running to get in the middle of things. Each time I yelled at her she'd go away for a split second and then run back, and each time, the goats were getting more and more excited. Finally, they both stampeded, and I have no idea how much they weigh, but I can guarantee that it's more than twice what I weigh, and there was no way I was stopping them. So I dug my feet into the ground and tried to gain a foothold as they drug me across the lawn. I didn't want to let them go, because goodness knows I wouldn't be able to catch them again, and they were headed for the road in front of my house. Somehow, I managed to steer them over back to the horse trailer, where they finally stopped because there was a trailer in front of them. Molly got put IN the trailer. lol After that, there were no more problems, but I just couldn't stop laughing! Where's the video camera when you need it?

I have had these two goats for just a couple of weeks now... They've settled in very nicely and get along great with my other critters. My original plant was to keep both does until they kid out, then sell the does and bottle feed the kids so they are tame, and then possibly keep one or two of the doelings to breed. Well, it's a good thing my plans are always open for change!

Yesterday, I was doing my daily scavenge on Craigslist, and I found an ad that had two registered Angora goats for sale (a buck and a doe). The people wanted $200 for the buck, and $75 for the doe, but they would trade for a milk goat. Normally, I do not care for bucks. I've already got one, and I've gone back and forth as to if I even want to keep him or not, and he's a REALLY good buck. The thing with bucks is that they STINK. Man oh man they stink so badly! And if you touch them and get that stink on your hands or anything... You can scrub and scrub and scrub and the stink just won't go away.

Bucks are also hard on fencing. I have seen so much fencing absolutely destroyed by bucks. Fortunately, my buck (Prince Henry III - he's a Nubian/Alpine cross) is a very good buck. He only stank for a short while, and now he's gone back to not stinking (he must have known I was thinking about getting rid of him!). He throws beautiful kids, and, so far, he has not destroyed any of my fencing (at least no more than my other goats). I was afraid, however, that bringing another buck into the situation would just... Stir things up. And I was sure that I simply did not need another buck.

So my first thought was to trade one of my new does for the Angora doe. But if I did that now, I'd lose a lot of money by trading her and sending the kids with her. So I offered to trade her with her soon-to-be-born kids for both goats. I figured I'd just sell the buck, breed the doe once, and keep one of her kids as an up-and-coming breeder. I was actually a little surprised when the owner of those goats accepted my offer!

The two new goats were a La Manche and a Saanan. The La Manche I wanted to keep, simply because I want a La Manche doe, so I will hopefully get a doeling from this girl that I can keep. So the Saanan was the one that I traded in.

My wonderful friend and neighbor, Raquel, came out to help me catch her and load her up, and we cracked up when Raquel hog-tackled her as the doe tried to dash between Raquel and the fence. Go Raquel! Wish I could have gotten that on video. :)

So today I went to Newman to pick up Roxanne and Omar. And, of course, I had oficially fallen in love with them already! They are so cool (very, VERY dirty, but (cool!). Omar (the buck) is very mellow, very friendly, very laid back, and does not stink at all! So, of course, I have decided to keep them both (at least for now). They are both due to be sheared, so now I have to find some shears for them. I'm afraid that most of their fiber won't be useable from this time, as it's really matted and dirty... I think they've gone too long without being sheared, and they were in a small, dirt pen when I got them. I'm hoping to learn how other people keep their goats/sheep/alpacas/lamas clean enough so that the fiber is usable when the animals get sheared. Any ideas?

So the picture here is of Omar. Roxanne is white, and I'll post some pictures of her when I get them. I'm going to have to work on getting some weight on poor Omar, because he is absolutely skin and bones. You really can't tell by looking because he's so fluffly, but when you put your hand on his back, you can feel every bone in his spine just about. But I'm pretty confident that he'll pick up weight pretty quickly living here with me.

Of course, all of the animals didn't know what on earth I had brought into their world. The horses were snorting and running around, and the other goats didn't want to go anywhere near the Angoras. They'll get used to them soon enough.

Well, that's about it for now. I need to get back to my crocheting or I won't have my hat finished in time for my walk in the morning. Until next time!

Continued...

Have you ever come to the point where you just wonder why anything matters? You wonder what the point is to anything? I used to have such a rosy picture of romance and love... You know, the kind of stuff that fairy tales are made out of. But as I began looking at those around me, I saw no evidence of such love. Most couples that I know who have been married for more than year or two encourage me to stay single, and usually say that it's more trouble than it's worth. The guys I see are usually rather bullheaded and in their own little world, and the women are always talking about how the guys aren't meeting their needs.

It really through me over the top when one of my best friend's husbands announced that he wanted a divorce. My dear friend had no idea that it was coming... Everything I heard from her was about how wonderful he was, and what sweet things he did for her. I kept wondering how I could find a guy as good as him? And then this... What is up with that? Why on earth can't people just be honest, instead of pretending to be something they are not?

It did not leave me with much faith in men or in relationships. How on earth are you supposed to tell who somebody really is? How are you supposed to tell if they are being honest or not? And what is the point of saving yourself for marriage if your future spouse isn't even going to care? What if there aren't any good ones left out there, or at least none that want me? Wouldn't it be better to be with someone than to never be with anyone?

I got to the point where my standards had gotten so low... It is only by the grace of God and not by my own choice that I did not end up giving everything up. I was no longer really looking for a Christian... I was looking for a cowboy. But no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, there was still a little voice in me that told me it was better to wait for the right person.

With all of this came depression. I was not happy in any way. I was not content. I thought that moving somewhere else would make me happier, or finding a guy, or earning more money. Do you know that, even while I had basically walked away from God, He has always provided just enough money for me to get by, just in the nick of time? I have never gone hungry or not been able to pay my bills... He has always provided for my needs, and gone the extra mile.

I have prayed this prayer so many times during the past few years, "God, I'm not ready to come back right now... But please don't give up on me! Please don't stop trying!" I know that's a strange sort of prayer, but He did answer it. He never gave up on me.

I have been SO miserable the past few years... I knew that God was the answer, but I didn't know exactly how to get to Him. I had no idea how to love God, or have a relationship with Him... It just seemed like He was always so far away. It seemed like there was a huge wall up between me and him, and I had no idea how to get over it.

I used to look in the mirror (metaphorically), and I couldn't stand the person that I saw. I saw someone who was just like everybody else in the world. I saw someone who would watch anything, listen to anything, go just about anywhere. I didn't like the person who cussed all the time, and had a nasty attitude. I didn't like myself at all.

So I started to ask God to teach me how to love Him. I was so tired of being miserable, and I just began to realize that all of the things that I had been holding on to were totally not worth the misery that I was living in. You know the strange thing? The things that I was holding onto were really not bad things... The desire to find true love and get married and have a family is not bad. Nor is the desire to have my own ranch someday. I could go on, but you get the point. What was bad was that I was not willing to give those things up to Him, to let Him do as He would with them. Now, I understand that you cannot truly give up your life to Christ without falling in love with Him.

One day, I visited another church to hear a special speaker, and the way that she talked about Jesus was literally like He was right there. She made Him seem so real, and her passion for Him was so real. I watched her talk about her relationship with Christ, and I began asking God to show me how to get what she has.

Later that day, I went home and dug out a book that a friend had given me for my birthday a few years earlier. It's called "Authentic Beauty" by Leslie Ludy. If you haven't read it, it's definitely a must-read! It talks about falling in love with Jesus, and gaining your worth through your relationship with Him. Once again, in those pages, I saw a love for Jesus and a passion for Him that I didn't understand. But I knew I wanted it, so I began praying even more fervently and asking God to teach me how to love Him, and give me that passion for Him, and I began reading my Bible again. I told Jesus that I was tired of hanging onto my life... That I knew He could run it better than I could, and I wanted His will to reign in my life.

And do you know what? God answered my prayers! He started teaching me to love Him! I can't tell you what exactly made the difference, except that it's Him! He has been so good to me, I don't deserve His goodness at all.

The very next week, at church, (the previous Sabbath had been the special speaker, then I read the book, and now I'm at church again) I was supposed to be out of town for a young adult retreat. At the very last minute, I decided to stay at home and go to my own church. Lo and behold, I could barely believe my ears when I heard that the church service was about having a relationship with Christ and knowing God! Isn't God amazing? Once again, it was just exactly what I needed to hear.

Throughout the next few weeks, God began showing me areas in my life that needed improvement (and believe me, there are MANY areas!). It seemed like for every step forward that I took, I took two steps back. I was so frustrated... I wanted to be a new person, and I wanted those around me to be able to see a change. So I began praying and asking God to make a big enough change in me that someone else could notice it. Here is where the story gets good again.

I was so frustrated, because I was really trying to let God change me, but it seemed kind of futile. I didn't see that much of a change in myself, and nobody else seemed to. But then, one week, I went out to work cows. I'd been taking lessons on sorting cattle, and this week a friend and mentor went with me. This dear lady has known me since I was 12, and is almost a second mother to me. After watching me work cows that afternoon, on the way home, she kept saying that that was the best she'd ever seen me ride. I kept asking her what was different, what I did differently, and she just said, "I don't know, it's just the best I've ever seen you ride." A little while later, I started telling her about my experience with finally coming back to Jesus, and all of a sudden she shouted, "That's what's different! You just have this peace about you now, and this confidence that you've never had before. That's the difference!"

Talk about God working in mysterious ways! Here I had been praying that God would make a difference in me, and never in a million years would I dream that the difference would show up in my work with horses! What an awesome God we serve!

A Bit of Background

Quick preface: Since I am a girl, and I'm writing from a girl's perspective, my writings will be mainly geared towards... Can you guess? You got it! GIRLS! If there are any guys who happen to want to read this blog, you are welcome to, but I will write to the girls and leave the guy's inspiration to a guy.

I am, and always have been, a dreamer. From the ages of 3 to 12, my family lived on a little dirt road that was seldom traveled by anyone except for us, and I remember going for walks along that dirt road. It was out in the country, and there was maybe 1/4 of a mile between us and the nearest neighbor. I remember that I loved kicking off my shoes and letting the soft sand of that dirt road squish between my toes as I meandered up and down the road... Not going anywhere in particular, but just daydreaming about what brilliant surprises my future held in store for me. Among the most prominent of those daydreams was a horse. I just knew that someday, I would have a horse of my own, and that day simply could not come fast enough.

It wasn't until I was about 13 that my daydreams started turning toward guys. I still remember the first time that I watched "Ever After" and "You've Got Mail", and I just knew that someday, in the near future, some amazing guy would come rushing in to sweep me off my feet. I used to dream up different crisis' that would come up, where there would be no hope of escape, until, mysteriously, a perfect guy would come along and save me.

Well, I'm 24 years old now, and I've gotten my horse (several of them, in fact!), but still no Prince Charming. So what on earth is wrong with me, right? Why am I still single? I'm so glad you asked!

I was raised in a fairly conservative Christian home. My family has lived in the country since I was 3, and my parents home schooled me all the way through high school. And let me tell you, I do not regret that one bit! Even while I was in high school, I never wanted to go to school. See, I had it great: My school hours were flexible, and as long as I got my work done, I was able to spend much more time doing the things that really mattered to me, like spending time with my horses. And check this out, I actually got credit in school for that! Because I went through a public charter school (homeschooling through the public school system) I was able to take horsemanship as an elective, and actually get school credit for it! How cool is that?

Ok, sorry, I got off on a tangent there. When I was 18, I went through a one-month Bible training program, where they teach you how to give Bible studies and witness to people for Jesus. That was a really awesome experience, but I never did anything with the training. Ever since I was a little kid, I can remember going to prophesy seminars at church and going door-to-door to hand out fliers and get interests for Bible studies. I was always so eager to witness to my friends and family and convert them. I knew all of the right answers for church. And I really did love God, in my own way, but it wasn't deep enough. I tried to do what was right because that was what I was supposed to do... Not out of a great love for Jesus.

As a teenager and young adult, I have always stood out from the crowd. Not only am I a Christian, but I am a vegetarian Seventh-day Adventist cowgirl. I honestly don't even know where my ideas about dating and relationships came from, but I have always had some pretty stranged ideas, according to the world's standards. Through high school, even though dreamed of true love and had numerous crushes, I never dated anyone. For one thing, I guess I am a bit socially backwards when it comes to guys... I have never been able to flirt. It just is not in my makeup. But for another thing, even when I was much younger and nowhere near being ready for marriage, I could never make myself date anyone that I would knew I would never marry. I never understood the people who could date someone just to have someone there, even though they knew it wouldn't last. I don't know where that came from, but it is something that is ingrained so deep into my being that I have never been able to break away from that completely.

Ok, I know that I have managed, so far, to say a whole lot of nothing, but I am trying to set the background and stage for the rest of my story, so please be patient with me. In the meantime, it is getting past my bedtime so I must stop for now. I'll try to continue in the next day or so. Until then, God bless and break out you Bible for a bit. :)

Introduction

Hi, my name is Stephanie. I'm glad you've decided to visit my blog (I think...). I have to say, I'm a little bit nervous about throwing my life out for the whole world to read about. In a lot of ways, I feel completely unworthy to even try to write a blog like this... I mean, I'm not a preacher; I've never written a book; I'm not a great speaker; I don't know my Bible as well as I should, and I don't have any amazing insights into the Bible. More often than not, I screw up and fail when I'm tempted, and goodness knows that I'm a far cry from being anything like Jesus. So what on earth makes me think that what I have to say might make a difference in someone else's life? What makes me think that I can say anything to inspire you?

Well, for one thing, I love to talk. Anyone who's ever gotten an email from me, or gotten me started talking about horses knows that I am really good at talking. And, for another thing, I kind of feel like God is asking me to share my story. Now my story isn't one of those "attention-grabbing-on-the-edge-of-your-seat-on-the-brink-of-death-from-drugs-to-Jesus" stories, but for me, it's just as good.

I guess I feel that if God gives us the gift of a story with Him, then it's meant to be shared. Now please don't go putting me up on a pedestal and thinking I've got it all together, because I most certainly do not! I am just a regular girl who is trying to find her way to a path in life that is led by Christ.

So, now that I've rambled enough just through my introduction, I will close this post with the prayer that something in my story may reach your heart and that God can use my story to make a difference in your life.