A Bit of Background

Quick preface: Since I am a girl, and I'm writing from a girl's perspective, my writings will be mainly geared towards... Can you guess? You got it! GIRLS! If there are any guys who happen to want to read this blog, you are welcome to, but I will write to the girls and leave the guy's inspiration to a guy.

I am, and always have been, a dreamer. From the ages of 3 to 12, my family lived on a little dirt road that was seldom traveled by anyone except for us, and I remember going for walks along that dirt road. It was out in the country, and there was maybe 1/4 of a mile between us and the nearest neighbor. I remember that I loved kicking off my shoes and letting the soft sand of that dirt road squish between my toes as I meandered up and down the road... Not going anywhere in particular, but just daydreaming about what brilliant surprises my future held in store for me. Among the most prominent of those daydreams was a horse. I just knew that someday, I would have a horse of my own, and that day simply could not come fast enough.

It wasn't until I was about 13 that my daydreams started turning toward guys. I still remember the first time that I watched "Ever After" and "You've Got Mail", and I just knew that someday, in the near future, some amazing guy would come rushing in to sweep me off my feet. I used to dream up different crisis' that would come up, where there would be no hope of escape, until, mysteriously, a perfect guy would come along and save me.

Well, I'm 24 years old now, and I've gotten my horse (several of them, in fact!), but still no Prince Charming. So what on earth is wrong with me, right? Why am I still single? I'm so glad you asked!

I was raised in a fairly conservative Christian home. My family has lived in the country since I was 3, and my parents home schooled me all the way through high school. And let me tell you, I do not regret that one bit! Even while I was in high school, I never wanted to go to school. See, I had it great: My school hours were flexible, and as long as I got my work done, I was able to spend much more time doing the things that really mattered to me, like spending time with my horses. And check this out, I actually got credit in school for that! Because I went through a public charter school (homeschooling through the public school system) I was able to take horsemanship as an elective, and actually get school credit for it! How cool is that?

Ok, sorry, I got off on a tangent there. When I was 18, I went through a one-month Bible training program, where they teach you how to give Bible studies and witness to people for Jesus. That was a really awesome experience, but I never did anything with the training. Ever since I was a little kid, I can remember going to prophesy seminars at church and going door-to-door to hand out fliers and get interests for Bible studies. I was always so eager to witness to my friends and family and convert them. I knew all of the right answers for church. And I really did love God, in my own way, but it wasn't deep enough. I tried to do what was right because that was what I was supposed to do... Not out of a great love for Jesus.

As a teenager and young adult, I have always stood out from the crowd. Not only am I a Christian, but I am a vegetarian Seventh-day Adventist cowgirl. I honestly don't even know where my ideas about dating and relationships came from, but I have always had some pretty stranged ideas, according to the world's standards. Through high school, even though dreamed of true love and had numerous crushes, I never dated anyone. For one thing, I guess I am a bit socially backwards when it comes to guys... I have never been able to flirt. It just is not in my makeup. But for another thing, even when I was much younger and nowhere near being ready for marriage, I could never make myself date anyone that I would knew I would never marry. I never understood the people who could date someone just to have someone there, even though they knew it wouldn't last. I don't know where that came from, but it is something that is ingrained so deep into my being that I have never been able to break away from that completely.

Ok, I know that I have managed, so far, to say a whole lot of nothing, but I am trying to set the background and stage for the rest of my story, so please be patient with me. In the meantime, it is getting past my bedtime so I must stop for now. I'll try to continue in the next day or so. Until then, God bless and break out you Bible for a bit. :)